Steady Hatin with Blockhead and Alaska
Posted on 10/13/2009
If there was a Nobel Prize for hatin we would win that shit!
Subway Platform Musicians
Blockhead:
I’ve heard the tall tales of musicians getting discovered while playing on subway platforms. We all have. MAYBE that shit has happened once in the history of the universe. The same way some imaginary guy has been discovered while singing loudly to himself on the street (word to your man Tyrese). Regardless of all these yet to be proven stories, subway musicians, by and large, are fucking annoying. Whether it be some old guy on a trumpet fumbling his way through a rendition of “Summertime” or some hippie shitbag playing an acoustic guitar, it’s rarely anything anyone wants’ too hear. Occasionally, you may luck out and come across one of those bizarre one man band motherfuckers who plays an organ, while drumming with their feet and blowing on a harmonica, but even those guys are only mildly entertaining for a short period of time. The bottom line with subway platform musicians is that it’s a self involved act. it’s someone thinking the world needs to hear their music and going to a place that people HAVE to be and cannot leave. It’s not like they’re up in the coffee house or a small music venue. They’re just chilling in public, playing their hearts out, while people go to work and, in most cases, want to be left completely alone. So fuck those guys. Not to mention when your greatest success story is kids playing buckets in a levis jeans commercial it may be time to look into plan b.
Williamsburg
Alaska
As a rule I hate revivalists. Whether it is waiters from Johnny
Rockets dressing like waiters from the 50’s or Little Brother making
music that sounds like ATCQ ate a gang of retard sandwiches. But the
most annoying revivalists are those that like to dress up like
colonists, and colonial Williamsburg is ground zero for these dicks. I
don’t get the appeal of this shit. If I wanted to see an overzealous
teacher or a failed actor I would just sign up for acting class at the
local community college. I don’t need some dick that doesn’t break
character give me some shtick about not knowing what a toilet is when I
ask him where to find the shitter. Dude you are wearing a Swatch and
drove here in a fucking 1997 Hyundai Excel, how about giving the shitty
accent a break and tell me where I can drop this deuce off. Wait did
you mean the place in Brooklyn with all the J.O’s with stupid facial
hair and Ting Ting shirts?
people who are really into cupcakes
Blockhead
I could never hate on cupcakes. Who could they are fucking delicious,
but what I can hate on is this weird cupcake hysteria that has emerged
over the last decade or so. I may be off in this but I will lay 100% of
that blame the TV show “Sex in The City”. I guess in one episode they
went to this cupcake bakery in NYC called “Magnolia” and all of sudden
every person in a skirt needs a mouth full of buttermilk icing. Now,
I’ve been to this cupcake establishment and sure, it’s “cute”, but you
know what? The cupcakes are completely and utterly mediocre. It speaks
in volumes about how far a store’s image can take you. But I digress.
2 months ago I was at a wedding in Martha’s vineyard with a bunch of
couples. While walking around town we happened upon a cupcake shop.
It was a dainty little room set up with all sorts of cute frilly
bullshit girls love and most importantly, a shit ton of cupcakes.
Needless to say, the half of the group that owned vaginas lost their
minds. They spent like 20 minutes inside while all the guys stood
outside rolling our eyes in unison. Fast forward to this weekend and I
hear my girlfriend talking extensively with a few other girls about
this very cupcake shop, and all of them completely engrossed and
excited about it. Seriously, it’s just a fucking cupcake. Eat that
shit and K.I.M.
people who don’t own TV’s
Alaska
You know what? I am a pretentious dick, I can own up to
that. I think if you have read one of these hate fueled rants you
would concur. I mock people who like shit like CBS sit-coms, Coldplay
and the book The Secret. Even so, I am nowhere near as pretentious as
people who don’t own televisions. They are the same people who wear
scarves in t-shirt weather and carry around beat up leather satchels
because Robin Williams did it in Dead Poet’s Society. They will always
inform you in such a dickish tone. “Oh I don’t own a TV; we find ways
to entertain ourselves”. How by staring at your husband’s stretched
out and stained Beatles T-shirt? Or maybe by making macaroni pictures
with your snob of a daughter Amelie. The key thing to remember is that
you are an asshole. You are not interesting and nobody gives a fuck
about the Russian author you are reading. Not having a TV only makes
you a superior dick but not superior.
Scrabble
Blockhead
Every week Alaska and I do this and we email each other a list of things to hate on. Sometimes he sends me shit I either can’t hate on or things I straight up love. This is one of those occasions. I fucking love scrabble. Always have. On top of that, I’m really fucking good at it. I spend an obscene amount of time online destroying my friends on facebook or playing over at wordbiz.jar with people so good I constantly think they’re cheating. The irony of my love for scrabble is that I never read anything and pretty much have the vocabulary of a toddler. Still, I’ve picked up a knack for memorizing useless 2 and 3 letter words (all of which I have no clue what they mean). So hating on scrabble, for me, is a hard one. That said, I suppose I could try – First off, I hate shitty tile distribution. U’s, i’s, c’s and v’s are all letters I’ve never given a second thought to but in scrabble land they’re all vicious cocksuckers. Secondly, scrabble takes over your brain. If I’ve played too much in one day I start seeing imaginary word combinations and begin conjuring up all sorts of 4 word combos when I shut my eyes to sleep. A similar thing used to happen when I’d play too much Tetris. I’ve definitely lost sleep over scrabble and that, is pretty fucking unacceptable. Thirdly, I hate losing at something I’m really good at. I can handle getting beaten in a basketball game because, on a larger scale, I’m not that good. At the same time, I very rarely lose to people I’m a lot better then. But with scrabble, no matter how good you are, you will lose on occasion. I rarely lose to friends but when I do they enjoy it way too much, which eats away at my soul.
Other than those three things scrabble is the greatest game ever invented. All you chess playing motherfuckers can eat a dick.
homeless people
Alaska
I know I should feel sympathy for these poor bastards, but you know
what? I don’t. Sure that probably makes me the dick, and I’m more than
willing to own that. Look, I know times are tough in America and its
getting harder and harder to get by, but when even the biggest wastes I
knew in high school can make due with a job at McD’s or some equally
soul crushing establishment then you too can get by. Sure it might be
a shitty existence but if I learned anything from the dicks in colonial
Williamsburg it is that even at our worst we have it pretty sweet since
there is no Injuns trying to sell our kids into white slavery and small
pox is a thing of the past. If you are so fucked up that you have
alienated everyone in your life because of unchecked mental illness or
drug abuse why should I give a fuck about you. Plus you all smell like
a mix of urine and Hindus.
TO READ THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE HEAD OVER TO Steadybloggin
Comments
I like Hip Hop and Jux, but the truth is.......
Posted on Mon, 11/09/2009 - 14:48 by: Anonymous (not verified)
These guys just talk a bunch of shit, yes you may be able to analyze it to get some sort of meaning but no one will have the same meaning. Because the truth is, its just a bunch of shit they wrote on paper that made absolutely no sense. I don't know if they're on acid or something similar because these lyrics seem to be inspired by shit similar. I do like Def Jux, but I was just saying the truth.
yeah just the other day all
Posted on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 08:34 by: dismal (not verified)
yeah just the other day all of my friends without televisions were sitting around a coffeeshop talking about the new and exciting hangar album. Are you serious?
for the record,
fuck little brother.
I like the lashout happy blog from blockhead. Big ups, homie. As for a sense of irony, I can't think of anything more ironic than ed anger's nancy stepson insulting hindus where if he just kissed a little desi-ass, more than fifteen people would cop his shit album.
That's how you hate, son.
yeah just the other day all
Posted on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 08:22 by: dismal (not verified)
yeah just the other day all of my friends without televisions were sitting around a coffeeshop talking about the new and exciting hangar album. Are you serious?
for the record,
fuck little brother.
I like the lashout happy blog from blockhead. Big ups, homie. As for a sense of irony, I can't think of anything more ironic than ed anger's nancy stepson insulting hindus where if he just kissed a little desi-ass, more than fifteen people would cop his shit album.
That's how you hate, son.
Losers...
Posted on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 03:02 by: Anonymous (not verified)
All you cry babies need to read something else.
There's nothing wrong with a bit of blatant hatin'.
to clarify, i love els music
Posted on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 04:36 by: Anonymous (not verified)
to clarify, i love els music and lyrics. but i dont think he should run a label. i mean come on hes not givin his artists a fair share.
Rawk on haters!
Posted on Mon, 10/19/2009 - 01:24 by: greeninvt (not verified)
Funny shit guys! To all of you out there that can't laugh at shit just to LAUGH at shit cuz its funny, go roll a fattie and chill the fuck out. Beeeaaatches!
KING OF HEARTS!!!!!!!!!?????
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 22:44 by: neiLLMATIC 23 (not verified)
where the hell is Camu's Album.... i've been waiting since 2005! Steady Hatin not listening to the sounds of the future.
AHAHHA!!! I like this hater
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 20:03 by: anonymous (not verified)
AHAHHA!!! I like this hater business you guys have going on, teaming up makes it even better
i wanna hate son, i dislike
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 16:51 by: deep space (not verified)
i wanna hate son, i dislike the homeless also. i agree you can and i know plenty of people who get by working shit jobs for no money. my question is if they are from the city how do they end up smelling like a farm. i have an idea stop drinking and smoking crack and start flipping burgers. money=food, warmth and pussy. these bums must like booze more then ass.
yeah generlizations was way
Posted on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 15:26 by: Anonymous (not verified)
yeah generlizations was way better then this shit hatin thread
I love to hate...
Posted on Sat, 10/17/2009 - 04:10 by: jiggyh8r (not verified)
...these idiots who go onto record label websites just to talk shit about it. HILARIOUS!!! It reminds me of people who hate on a movie but can quote that shit line for line because they've seen it 5 times. You hated it so much that you're now an expert on it. I get a kick out of the people here who are like, Def Jux sucks, that's why I went to the website, followed the link to this blog, read the blog, spent time out of my day to write a comment about how terrible it all is and busted out my calculator to figure out the math question at the bottom so my comment would be posted. And then the same idiots keep checking back again and agian for another chance to chime in on how much Def Jux sucks on some other blog or news posting. I'M HATING ON YOU PEOPLE!!! And feel free to hate me back, it's ok, I can take it. You know what, I f^cking HATE Miley Cyrus but I have never even searched for that bitch online and when she's on TV I turn the channel. I don't follow her around in cyberspace and profess my hate for her and post comments about how much she sucks. Well, except here, cause that bitch does suck.
I'm also hating on the people who don't realize these dudes are JOKING!!! Ever heard of satire? Or better yet, ever had a group of really good friends? Where I come from good friends, you know homies, don't sit around in a circle and tell each other how wonderful the other person is while touching dicks, well maybe you do, but most normal friendships have a large degree of healthy shit talking about each other, each other's families and the world and nothing is sacred. So do yourself a favor and stop being so sensitive about some shit that's supposed to be silly. But I'm glad you are so sensitive because it really does make me laugh!
And to Blockhead and Alaska, I'm surprised you even wasted your time explaining your right to free speech to these close minded idiots but I think it's cool you did, even though no one deserved it. Keep it coming, and thank you guys for the ENTERTAINMENT!
hate hate hate
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 20:33 by: Earl Hiee Jenkins (not verified)
Def Jux is the shit. The owner is the man and put on a dope ass show in Boston last Saturday. He even smoked a pinner wit me out front the club. Block is the man and he put out 3 classic albums that have made me trip balls on several occasions. And Alasks, well, he had this dope verse on Can Ox's album this one time...haha. Actually I just got the free download of Swwep the Leg "Viktumized" (thank you Free Shit section of y'alls page). Little Brother is mad boring. And let's be honest, Hindus smell funny. Did some fool say u ruined Christmas. Reall? Thanksgiving maybe, but its WAY too early to be ruining Christmas. I mean X-mas. I mean, the holidays. Fuck Jesus.
Peace and Hate.
PS Jesus was cool, but fuck those Jesus freaks.
def jux
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 20:15 by: Earl Hiee Jenkins (not verified)
is the shit. keep it up. El-P is the fuckin man and he put on a dope show in Boston, and he even smoked a pinner wit me after the show. Blockhead has three classic albums that will make you trip your balls off on shroomz. And Alaska...well, he had a dope verse on Can Ox's album this one time...haha. They can hate on whoever and whatever the fuck they want. Did someone say they just ruined Christmas. Really? Thanksgiving maybe, but it's WAY too early to ruin christmas, I mean X-mas, I mean the holidays. And let's be honest, Hindus smell funny.
Peace and hate
Im out
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 14:13 by: steel city shogun (not verified)
just unsubscribed to DefJux newsletter. gotta go grow somw thicker skin. Good Luck hatin' guys.
Who is alaska?
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 04:28 by: Manic (not verified)
He is a musician of some sort??
And I think the blog was better when it was just blockhead. This hating concept is like that skit from the chappelle's show but less funny.
Speaking of blockhead does anyone know where I can find his remix of that regina spektor song?? i heard that somewhere once long ago and haven't been able to track it down
Little brother is pretty boring...
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 01:17 by: vinglese (not verified)
and Im glad that Im not the only one who thinks so...I said that to my friends and they look at me like I'm dissing krs-one...the "atcq eating retard sandwiches" was fucking awesome by the way
the genesis
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 23:05 by: the hater's hater (not verified)
Oh, and for the record I invented the art of hating. On the 2nd day I was straight like, "Yo, let there be hate." Then on the 7th day, I straight chilled. peace
Pot and Kettle?
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 22:58 by: the hater's hater (not verified)
yo, what's up with fat people in New York. Don't you motherfuckers walk a lot?
word to scrabble
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 22:08 by: tara (not verified)
i would totally kick your ass at scrabble, blockhead. just sayin.
hatin'
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 22:04 by: Anonymous (not verified)
yeah i mean you guys are funny usually and brilliant musicians, but that hindu joke...that's a bit too much, below the belt racist. love you guys, know that this is just for shitsandgiggles/ironic/whatever, but being two white dudes you need to take responsibility for your comments for reals.
hey alaska
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 19:43 by: blockhead! (not verified)
i've been thinking. perhaps we should have a warning in front of these "steady hatin'" blogs cause it appears most people are simply to dense to realize we're fucking joking around. jeeeeeeesus.
for the millionth time to everyone who reads this and leaves butt hurt comments about how ignorant and wrong we are: THIS BLOG IS FOR JOKES. IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE THE END ALL OF OPINION ON THESE SUBJECTS. IT'S ALASKA AND I FUCKING AROUND AND MAKING FUN OF SHIT SIMPLY FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING FUN OF SHIT.IF YOU'RE OFFENDED BY THIS, FIRSTLY, GROW A THICKER SKIN CAUSE IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS KIND OF STUFF, THE REAL WORLD WILL EAT YOU WHOLE BY THE TIME YOU'RE 23 YEARS OLD. AND, SECONDLY, WE'RE FUCKING AROUND. GET OVER YOURSELF AND FIND SOMETHING MORE WORTHWHILE THE COMPLAIN ABOUT THEN TWO OVER HILL RAP ASSHOLES MAKING FUN OF POINTLESS SHIT.
THANK YOU.
Well, maybe you should have
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 15:03 by: Anonymous (not verified)
Well, maybe you should have a warning. It's been many months that you guys regularly post some ethnically debatable statements on philaflava in the name of "humor." Don't get me wrong, I'm the first one to appreciate a good old assholish racist right-winged joke, but sometimes the line with personal opinion is not always clear. Anyway, my beef with these blogs is just that they are not that entertaining. But it's just me. Have a nice day.
There is a little truth in
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 17:10 by: Sinonymous (not verified)
There is a little truth in every joke...
So hey, if I call you out or make fun of you, it's all in fun bro, don't take it so seriously... jeez your so sensitive. Couldn't you tell I was JUST JOKING?!?!
I mean it's not like you previously mentioned aging rappers being a joke, while Slug and the rest of Def Jux crew have still remained credible. Funny to see that Slug is on the new KRS-ONE album... cause KRS is just wack now anyway, right?
I think KRS read your previous post:
"Critics say you want us to chill; you old now/ But really, that ain't how I feel; I'm more bold now"
By the way, I'm way older than 23. I am just a complete loser who has nothing better to do than post my disgust for everything on God's green earth.... but it's all a joke so just chill man. Sit back and let my cinematic prose wash over you in waves of hilarity. Turn that frown upside down and give in to my witty perspective on life, cause I'm a humorous type of guy... at least that's what my mom says.
Fuck that.
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 19:36 by: Q from Connecticut (not verified)
Man fuck the homeless. They smell like shit, and God forbid you're puffing on a bogey. " Yo my man, can I get one of those? You got any change?" Na dude, kick rocks; bogeys are like 10 bucks a pack. Scumbags. Haters unite!
fuck-wads
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 14:49 by: Anonymous (not verified)
I think you should hate on fuck-wads who take these blogs way too seriously!
So, this is how its gonna be?
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 13:51 by: sherman street shakedown (not verified)
Fuck You Alaska. Hating on the fucking homeless, really? When your having to knock on the lowest common demoninator your really grasping at straws. "Like urine and Hindus?!!" not even worthy of comment except that its not exactly the best idea for DefJux to be posting this shit on thier site. You just ruined Christmas. What are you doin' Block?
its a joke come on
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 16:53 by: Anonymous (not verified)
its a joke come on
the best idea for jux would
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 20:18 by: Anonymous (not verified)
the best idea for jux would be to quit(or get a new owner). They used to be the label that put out quality hip hop records. Now, they just flat out suck. and they sleep on dope artists on the label and promote the lamest shit(depart from me). thats why all the illest artists they had have left ( c-rayz walz, murs,rjd2,can ox,masai bey,and pretty soon danny! and everyone else). oh and yea......... fck alaska
so you like to listen to the
Posted on Sun, 10/18/2009 - 16:57 by: Anonymous (not verified)
so you like to listen to the same shit over and over again. and can ox put out one good album (cold Vein) other then that vast aire is the worst rapper ever. and depart from me is cage at an artistic peek. c rayz is the greatest rapper ever
theses cats are dumbasses.
Posted on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 20:39 by: samuel (not verified)
theses cats are dumbasses. they make no sense and have an ignorant perspective to everything.
thats kind of the point
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 19:49 by: alaska (not verified)
thats kind of the point genius. we are taking it as a satarical approach, of bloggers on the internet that hate on everything to make fun of people that hate on everything not the actual things themselves. we dont hate homeless people, hindus, urine or whatever. we dont actually feel that way, with the exception of little brother being boring.
Jesus you people make it really hard to like def jux.
Pretty fucking hilarious except
Posted on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 17:42 by: Pie nuts (not verified)
I'm the biggest HATERRRRRRRR!!! gentlemen my thoughts exactly
wow, a Little Brother
Posted on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 16:24 by: Sinonymous (not verified)
wow, a Little Brother diss... Is this post 9th Wonder(let me guess, it is and I missed the point)? You forget that 9th Wonder released an album on Def Jux with Murs that was pretty fucking amazing(I bet you didn't and somehow I'm the idiot)?
Also, in regards to the "you all smell like a mix of urine and Hindus".... that is some tasty veiled racism. You guys are more likely to melt in the earth's core before you reach China with this hole you are digging....
You guys are Slumdog's without the Millionaire...
ha ha! hate on that...
you got one thing right
Posted on Thu, 10/15/2009 - 23:41 by: tomasz. (not verified)
somehow I'm the idiot
nope. ive always hated
Posted on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 19:34 by: alaska (not verified)
nope. ive always hated little brothers music and i have always been vocal about it. So what?
I liked the project with murs because it was dope. it wasnt boring. and that was more because of murs than little brother. if little brother rhymed on the same beats i probably wouldnt have liked that either. so what?
as for the urine and hindu comment, it was obviously a joke, homeless people dont ALL smell like urine.
as for this hole we are digging? you are assuming we give a fuck about what other people think, especially people with no sense of humor or irony like yourself. which is obvious by your retarded slumdog millionaire joke. ooh let me guess "you called me a retarded you guys are making fun of the handicap."
Hey if you didn't give a
Posted on Fri, 10/16/2009 - 17:27 by: Sinonymous (not verified)
Hey if you didn't give a fuck about this shit, you wouldn't be replying to this shit. So, a fuck, you definitely do give.
As for no sense of humor, well that is kind of subjective, in the sense that what makes you giggle like a school girl, may very well be just some dumb shit that I may not find to be very funny or humorous. Does that mean either of us are right? no, but if you can spout off about some retarded shit, why can't I? I'm sorry if the retarded shit I am spouting off about is your column but hey, life can't be all blowjobs and italian beef combos.
Lastly, there's nothing remotely ironic in this column so maybe check with Merriam-Webster on that shit... I mean lets look at Alanis Morrisette's song Ironic and the wonderful lyric "It's like raayyiiiaaayyin on your wedding day...Isn't it ironic?" No, it isn't ironic, it just sucks. It would be ironic if the couple getting married dreamed of having their wedding outside, but when they had to have the wedding indoors, to their disappointment, a fucking meteor the size of truck hit the spot were the wedding would have taking place, making the rain a blessing and their wedding all the more joyful. That, my stately friend, is irony. If you can show me the irony in this shit, I would love to see it.
Irony would be us actually liking each other after bashing each other's posts.
and oh yeah, I went there with Alanis Morrisette.... Bam!
....... this makes no sense
Posted on Wed, 10/14/2009 - 15:49 by: Anonymous (not verified)
....... this makes no sense
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